DR. WAJEEHA ISSUES

It's all in your head they say. Thankfully it is just in my head. Had it been in real it would ve been catastrophic Catastrophic, like it is to my peace of mind. Skull has so many ways to make exit But it refuses to move like it is plastic. So far so much

Manzilon se raahein doodhti chali, Kho gayi hai manzil kahin rahon mein..

Take a deep breath, visit the place of discomfort later, When your mind is less clogged by your immediate emotions. Emotional intelligence plays an important role in situations that we cannot control or can  react to. So.far so much!

Hey people  I am back this month with an exciting incident to share!  Midnight on a night shift I receive a call from my triage doctor stating he has a lady whos complaining of bloating, he has asked about Last Menstrual Period and they're not okay revealing it. I asked him to hold the patient there while I come to examine. Next moment, was my triage doctor inside with the lady on the wheelchair right behind him.  The first visual was her expression of pain I saw through the counter. I asked them to take her on a bed while I rushed to see her. My teammate told me something is fishy. I see a gravid uterus not less than 30 weeks ! Don't tell my husband! I hid it all this while. Please , please! She said. I stared in disbelief. I asked her about how many weeks , she told me around 25 weeks. I ran to get my sterile gloves. My nursing staff  came to me and said mam! Come fast ! She seems to be in labour. When I examined I could feel the head and the membranes were about to rupture.

Hey everyone!  Sometimes days are rad sometimes they're bad! In the best interest of your mind. It's better to surrender to moments. But then, the best move would be to retrospectively understand and visualise the best possible interventions that could have been done or can be done to make the situation RAD! So far so much

Hey people As a kid I would play with a new toy 24x7 and put it down when I would get tired, then the memory of its existence would just vanish out of my mind. The power of leadership is like a sword , you become combative initially and the zeal wears off over time. However, I've realised it comes with a lot of responsibility. You have to use it carefully like your tongue. It's pretty tempting! If you don't handle it with care , you end up hurting your ownself. So far so much

Hello everyone,  Human mind is a closet of very many things. It comes to us naturally to listen to somebody with a pre existing notion about their mannerisms, shortcomings and judge what might have happened than what actually HAS happened.  Something I am working on. But yes, human brain doesn't stop err-ing.

The caption says it all.

It doesn’t matter where you’re coming from—all that matters is where you’re going.

Hey all ,  In your twenties you're expected to be super energetic, in best of your health form. Have the best immunity. Expectations and reality are two different things,never the same.  At twenty six , having fallen sick thrice with bacterial and viral infections despite enough rest in three months. Having dealt with enough panic attacks , enough low mood days, you questions your own sanity. Question your physical ability to continue your passion, your daily activities. When you're at your physical and emotional low , you don't know what is dominating what.  Living in a sick body at any point of life is not easy . You don't know how you would wake up next day , in mental fatigue or Physical exhaustion.  So far so much.

Hey all! Burnout is  you run when all you need to do is Walk. Work is like a rubber ball, drop it and it will bounce back today or tomorrow. It doesn't have emotions. Health and spirit are like glass, you drop them , you have permanent damage.Theyll never be the same again. First hand experience. Burnout is when we listen to others but not our body. when we make time for others but not ourselves. We outperform ourselves but not in a good way. Testing yourself to an extent that you break yourself down is not a good idea. You start feeling burdened and frustrated over every little thing. we're all exhausted. slow down today. Allow yourself to rest, breathe and restart again! This is a seedlings of new life. we need to silence our mind. one meeds to stop chasing and pause. So far so much.

Hey all,   The thing with life is it's hardly ever monotonous. It gives you jerks if you think it's monotonous.  This Bakrid , all I wanted to do is pray , go do my job of contributing to save lifes , come back home , have some tasty food and sleep. Well , this is what I've been doing for past 3 years.  A day before Eid , I woke up all tired , with every part of my body hurting like it never did. I thought I had crossed my physical capacity and that could be the reason. I happened to check my temperature, Damn 100F . I thought to wait till next day , I didn't want to see the number 100 on the thermometer so I gulped paracetamol beforehand and headed to work. My friend asked me to go home and rest. But all I wanted to do is work, because I thought it would sound like an excuse I was making to get an off on Eid . Half way down the shift, I started having chills in the PPE ... I didn't dare to check the temperature, I quietly gulped another paracetamol and continued wo

Hey all How are you? Slept last night peaceful? Had a good meal? You're one of the luckiest being on planet earth. So blessed?! But How ?! Yes , I envy people who have peace of mind. People who can sleep well at night. You don't understand what a blessing you carry.  It's important to have good physical health to be mentally fit they say... I am having my baby steps towards it. Trust me I am going to break bones if this is a just shitty quote ... I swear! See you after attaining some peace of mind. So far so much.

Hey all Being a leader , is a new place to be . Wearing new pair of shoes you make yourself vulnerable to shoe bites which all our parents say we will get used to once time passes by.  To have somebody listen to your struggles all day is a blessing. To have somebody to listen to your struggles EVERYDAY is too much to ask for. Because you know nobody is willing to listen. Nobody got time. Nobody got time to listen to the minute hassles , fights , pleasures , troubles , escapades . It's practically not possible in the year 2020.  You don't want to be talking also because you don't want them to judge you because it's your own journey. You want to share not more than a piece to seek an advise.  My way of dealing has changed to be talking about them to the person who gives it to me everyday. (The Almighty) .This will prolly continue till he finds me a therapist!  So far so much!

Hey all,  It's always a good day to learn to save lifes. It's even better to have deep conversation with healers, wounded healers. I was in quarantine because of high titres of positivity (COVID 19) . I happened to discuss a topic with now an ex team member.  I was in full energy after a long time . She told me how much she missed working with me. I was trying to be nice and say your new leader is also great, all you need is time. I was trying my best to be diplomatic and not say anything otherwise because you know one tends to speak nice of you if they get attached to you.  But her change in attitude towards work scared me a little. She went on to say ," I miss working with you ... It was like learning new procedures without pressure, it was like I had no leader but a team member who would work with me, I felt energetic at the end of the shift. But now I don't feel like going to work, work seems stressful . All I want to do is complete documents and shift the patient

Hey all, To pose dignified calm when you want to break bones , shout at your level best , cry your heart out is the toughest thing to do. I specially now have high regards for anyone who does so. There are days when you're mad as a hatter on shift. All you want to do is break somebodys bones without being charged for it for them asking incessantly of things you can't help.  Sometimes you wonder if all this is what you want from life.  You wonder if you had studied med school to be managing such bombastic shit. You wonder if this is worth dying young... Pizza is atleast tasty! You wonder if yelling like a lunatic lady  in a sophisticated place worth the deal. But if you think of a better bigger picture , if you can save more life , provide better quality care, it's all worth it.  My mental health... Well , it's high time almighty finds me a therapist!  So far so much!

Hey all , Hope life is treating you well . It takes guts to read my blogs . You're a warrior already! Working in a team as a team leader for a month I was startled with the observations I would make everyday. Everyone is different and caught in their ownself that their reaction to same thing presented at same place everyday is different.  I had the junior most resident who was doing well everyday . This one fine day, ER was a hot air balloon filled with pressured air , he had this one case that got settled in one to two hours (too much as it was already a settled case by a previous team) I held my calm as it was still manageable. 4 hours later I gave him a case to handle , he asked me for some more time as he wanted to settle down a issue from the previous case.  You cannot ask for some more time! You HAVE to settle this case ! I FIRMLY answered which again I had settled with respect to investigation, and initial management. He understood what I meant. He quietly took up the case .

There is a difference between dark and gloomy. There is a difference between being hearers and listeners. There is difference between advice and concern. There is a difference between job and responsibility. There is a difference between being guilty and responsible. There is a difference between offending and explaining. There is difference in avoiding and being left out. There is difference between friendship and companionship. There is a difference between being a leader and a mentor. Don't hear... Listen... There is a difference ...

Hey all During a hustle of being something you are hesitant to be , you learn a lot. I had always put down the idea of being a leader misinterpreting as boss. If you see and experience it closely you will understand. 1. Being social A boss may be very social, but a leader takes social responsibility. Responsibility that how his actions , his behaviour may just create a beautiful change or a disaster by the pack thats following him. A boss tends to have less social responsibility . 2. Getting things done A boss gets done what he wants whatsoever.  A leader knows how to get things done, invests time and energy along with the team. 3. Checking on people A boss finds his team sick , grants leave. A leader checks on them , tries to help them emotional and i. whatever way possible. 4. Growth A boss thinks about his growth . A leader not only things about his growth, but his teams growth and their personal growth. Grooms them to be leaders. A boss goes faster but to

Hey all ,  As emergency physicians we take not less than 30-40 decisions per minute. As a team leader it only multiplies. You have to be accountable not just for your mistake but everybody elses mistake. This marathon of decisions goes for 6-7 hours or if its a night shift for 12 hours . So for a 12 hour shift around 43 thousand decisions .  Every thing is supposed to be accountable sensible and legit. Lot of trouble shooting. You reach home , crash on bed and not move. No calls made, no decisions to take . Yes , the mind reacts like a car that was running at speed of 120/min suddenly hits a brake . You are likely to have concussion and multiple injuries. The same way if not tamed , the mind thinks and overthinks.There needs to be a regulator. Trying to looks for one because the long flight of thoughts my mind is taking is leaving my body in fatigue. So far so much.

Hey all There is a time of life your body rejects change , any new change. Your body is not willing to accept any new change. In turn it starts to show disgust towards the change in the form of fatigue, pain , irritability and unhappiness. You try to move out of your comfort zone to grow. On your path to the growth you realise your body just doesn't want to move, it just doesn't want to get along with you. The emotional distress it causes is something you cannot describe . Its more like deceit from someone very close.  You look for medical causes , and medicine doesn't have answers . With your experience , you know that your body is making excuses. Excuses not to move out of comfort zone , excuses not to move on to next path , excuses not to give up to the change. In an attempt to align your willpower and body, mental peace is lost somewhere . The sleep just is out of sight. So far so much.

Hey people Screwed it up! Sometimes you wake up from the wrong side of the bed...  Everything done in the best interest of the patient backfires! All your weaknesses show up on the same day. Not in a mood to elaborate.  So far so much! Bye!

Hey all People say being mom is difficult, being a dad is difficult. What I find being leader is both but for 6-8 hours of your time. You kick your team members, you've to be protective as hell about them , nurture them , appreciate them , criticize them , take responsibility of their mistakes.  So now at the age of 26 , I feel I am being given the responsibility of a 35-40 year old.  Damn ! the stress is going to kill me early. So far so much

Hey there Sometimes you walk into the ED with some gloomy memories. The best thing about ED is even if you're dead occupied with things that you don't let the gloomy mood take over.Food, hunger ,sleep excluded. So today, I get less crash cases , I overwhelmingly go teach stuff to my juniors.  Now , the competency is questioned again.  You help people when convenient. Not always. A true team leader should always be hands on. Well, well! "Its tough to come out of the Ya Shaikh apni dekh mentality." So far so much.

And then I thought I was decent with emergency procedures. And today...  I don't get the ABGs, my consultant scolds me that this is the worst procedure he has seen . I , as usual have that ok now what , m being screwed , I don't know what to do face! I don't know but the love to teach emergency medicine to others is ON FIRE I tell you. My own assessment says I'm doing pretty good. Leadership, I've only minded my business today, Not ERs. so far so much bye.

Hey everyone Today the 13th of March 2020 , I begin to write this post. For now the secret is between me and my mind and prolly the device I have in my hand.  The secret little determination towards something new. The secret little determination towards something that gives me cold feet.  The secret little determination towards something that Ive been running away all my life no not wedding, its leadership.  Be it leading a class , or a batch of medical graduates , the opportunity of leading the gang had come my way multiple times and rejected stating that I was not competent for the post. The confidence has never been there. I think leadership also has something to do with the upbringing. My parents emphasized me  on minding my own business . So , the courage to be loud , assertive and more importantly lead a pack never came to me . To be simple I never saw myself doing it.  In present scenario , my mentor initially in my first year of residency  emphasized me on teaching , that was a

Hey all On my day 1 in an attempt to be a leader,  I walk in to the ER with intention of being assertive , yet polite. I think I did pretty well for day 1 .  I was happy. Did feel like it was that bad of a job. Side effects : I panic all night . Stress over things that don't exist. Panic more. So far so much

Hey all, Anxiety is real! Didn't really try it but pep talk helps in getting over the anxiety at that moment of time. So far so much.

Hey people, I am in a good mood. Good mood to write . ICU Things! A little away from my covid warriors up above. There is nothing worse than taming a wild cheetah . The same way , there is nothing like saving a wild emergency physician in a ICU. But what makes you stay , you need some meat for survival . What meat does ICU give you ? Such meat is called Central lines , arterial lines, intubation . They just make up a bad morning to a good one! You understand and value Emergency department even more ... Why? Because taking a call to do such invasive procedure out there in open under such uncontrolled environment is no joke. So far so much Bye

Hello people, Well ,if the title has not got enough attention let me tell you clearly. Last week I spotted grey hair on my scalp👵😓. Man! I've grown old! or I' m growing old! Meanwhile , I am busy thinking of the possible causes that might have led to it 1) I've grown old! 2) STRESS! Because I work in emergency?😒 3) I don't care of my health. 4) I've poor hair care! Advantage : My patients would take me more seriously thinking I am an experienced physician... Wait , I wear a headscarf. Good Idea to dodge matches away! Plan of care :  Forget all of it plan next nap in advance! So far so much!

Hello my fellow social media addicts, Whatsup? After my first blog , that was more about adjusting , rather tuning my pace in the ICU from ER . This is just the continuation. While in ER , where you're the aggressive one person who is counseling the family on what has acutely happened , the random febrile illness is a septic shock , the need for investigation and payment of bomb of a price for staying in a intensive care unit . The struggle is real. You explain every moment , you explain the progress minute by minute , hour by hour . You justify the need of investigation in sections . The amount of stress I realized is Oh my God! Yes , there is so much stress! As Emergency Physicians we juggle so much! to be precise "The Emergency Department".  You got to have that flair to differentiate you from every other medigeek ! You got to have that flair to differentiate you from a lawyer ! You got to have that flair that makes you better than any psychotherapist !

Hey people, I am back. Chilled out.On a break From ...fast life ,annoying patient attendants...But wait ... I already miss emergency! For people who are clueless about the rant, I've been posted in ICUs lately.  Life is different here, very different... slow...  All the jugads you do in emergency don't seem to work here, things are static here.  The only thing the staff here tell me is , mam slow down! This is not ER ! Things here go slowly !Nothing will happen. It seemed like holding a cheetah in a zoo !  I go to a stable patient, reassess him . Run back to my ICU consultant...When can we shift him out? I am so not used to patient not moving out of my area when intervention is not required. The only thing that keeps me hooked up in the beeping walls is my book. Book , that teaches emergency. Few days away from PPEs!  Rest Almighty knows! So far so much.

Hey people, Ever been so tired that all you can do is sleep?  No depression, no evil eye  , no deficiency , nothing. All you do is sleep? Happens when the only choice you have is either to be safe or tired.The choice to rebreathe your own breath in a closed shield or wait to get your self ventilated trying to transfer a ventilated person from one facility to another. Transporting the patients to the CT scan bagging them , lead aprons hanging on your so called strong bodies . Bagging the patient till the CT is artefact free. With the summer on going you have plans... Plans your mind makes to study books , pray , update , socialise. You go home with plans , reach home.  Your body does nothing but falls on bed . Laughs at your mind and plans , giggles and says.  The world has slowed down, so should you, I can be out of energy , did it ever occur to you? You better understand this ,  Study and all plans can come later, Be thankful that you're alive! Eat, sleep, be thankful

Hey all Yes , you guessed it right. My anxiety is just not letting me sleep . Anxious about? No not at all corona... I do what I do but now with uncomfortable clothing thats it. Before I go further , *Disclaimer: All the points written below are in a positive sense of wit , clumsiness and exaggeration.Crash area in emergency medicine is the resuscitation area , where the sickest patient is wheeled in. If you have a team of emergency physician , a crash doctor js designated based on experience and exposure to stabilize sick patient.These are high priority cases What can a crash doctor crave for?  Intubation : That endotracheal tube going into the trachea in just one go and your assistant saying negative , positive, positive, positive,  positive! Thats the first step towards saving a life because its only after *AIRWAY* comes breathing and circulation... How do I explain you??? Its like Qabool hai of Muslim Nikah ! ( Umm... Exaggerated a little, I guess its okay!) Central Li

Hey all, My tug of war with summer has not been as bad till it began clashing with Ramadan! Last three years, My patience gets tested with this combination...  This time CORONAAAA! With corona comes PPE ( Personal Protective Equipment) as much as it looks fancy ( I LOVE WEARING IT !)  hell breaks inside!  The condition is worse when a code runs. Due to limited exposure less people are allowed in the resuscitation area.  The situation is like ,  You're in a desert in scorching heat, wearing the most uncomfortable clothing in the world trying to help somebody come back to life. Pushing harder , faster . Making sure you're safe and your colleagues is safe. You can't ask people nearby for help, for safety reasons. You go out of stamina, try to get fresh air to breath but the area is so contained and your tight masks, won't let you breathe.  The guilt of not being able to help is worse when its a young or middle aged person who might have survived if the conditio

Heyyyy people Confession pages , posts are always entertaining!  *Disclaimer: All the points written below are in a positive sense of wit , clumsiness and exaggeration. Don't take it seriously.  Crash area in emergency medicine is the resuscitation area , where the sickest patient is wheeled in. If you have a team of emergency physician , a crash doctor js designated based on experience and exposure to stabilize sick patient.These are high priority cases. Now that you have a background... Let the rant begin. Its been around 9 months that I've been continuously handling crash . So , let the rant begin. 1. We are the most no-nonsense people. 2. Trust handover blood pressure like you trust politicians promise. 3. One day makes you feel the best person in the whole world , next day you feel like a ruthless beast. 4. One day you feel like Sherlock Holmes who has solved a mystery , the other day its supandi time. 5. Ordering things and getting them done are two different

Hey people,  My grey matter is churning so many things out , that I had no other choice but to write about it. Yes , I got a lot of time! Honestly , as medicos, thats our foundation as doctors, we deal with so many infectious diseases . Nothing really bothers us as much. The paranoia has never gone overboard.  Why COVID then? Honestly speaking I was not a first bencher in school . Having said that, I love being a frontliner in my professional life. Probably because I am single, I have relatively less responsibility?  But with me are some people who love what they do. But every respiratory case that appears before them draws chill down their spine.  Why? Haven't they dealt with a pneumonia? Did tuberculosis scare shit out of them? Did swine flu made them isolate themselves? NO! then?  Its usually married people, healthcare workers with kids or elderly parents who are more scared.  Being a carrier of the disease , being a cause of somebody elses misery is some