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Showing posts from 2017

Things I am thankful for - 1.Almighty

Things I am thankful for -1. Almighty The 24x7 helpline that he is. The best Customercare ever! The one who introduces you to people customised to your situation. Direct wireless connection from Broca's area.  Somebody who doesn't leave me when I stop giving him attention . Somebody who made me normal. When I read about the sporadic pediatric diseases , I thank him for getting me through. When I read about the various natural calamities , I thank him for keeping me safe. When I see an introvert , I thank him for making me able to put my thoughts across. When I see the percentage of blind in the country , I thank him for making me able to read , write and understand not only to my benefit but for the benefit of humanity . I secretly wanted to be a superhero , flying to places , helping people.  I reluctantly joined medicine little did I know he granted me what I wanted in the most legal , legit , decent form. I thank him for thi

I am thankful for - series (Why?)

Hey all! Stress drives me crazy . No , seriously. I get anxious and the quintals of data just evaporates . That's bad. Hurts too.  No bragging , but after being able to read understand things which 90% people on the earth don't even attempt to read . It's feels really miserable . The first thing my anxiety hits is my sleep. I worry about things I don't have . I often forget the simple fact : I don't have it because I don't need it right now. But the anxious mind fails to accept. Doesn't let me sleep.  I happened to go through the feed of an Instagram blogger masoom minawala. Though she belongs to the field totally different from mine . There was this one little thing that hit my amygdala . She posts things she is thankful for. While the rest of the world is boasting about things they are immensely proud of , there is somebody who is thankful for things she has. That's when I realised , it's only when you live in the moment ,

Casualty postings

The last lear of my internship diaries which sums up my internship mania - casualty postings.The best is saved for the end. I had just turned 23 . Just out of my lazy lousy life. So nervous . But the quintals of experience each day , so much fun , so many tears . It was no less than a TV series.life was so spiced up that fictional shows seemed like bland forced visuals. Ranbir Kapoor had to go to Corsica for self discovery ... I found lighter moments of life in the stinky corridors and ICUs of OGH . No exaggeration here but I think thats kind of a person I am. 9pm : First day (night) in casualty. Enter .  4 steps right. A burns case.  4steps backward. 4 steps straight .  2 steps left . RTA. 2 steps backwards . 4 steps straight A relieved intern post-12hour duty! And a handover. MLCs ( medicolegal cases) A book . 2 stamps . A sarkari bench to seat. I felt like a perfect government employee juggling with the stamps .The moment you begin to find things funn

Vitamin Money

Vitamin Money Hey people, Jobless mind is a blog workshop . These 6 months the only job I have done consistently is to Overthink. Overthinking the worst and the best.  When you overthink , you make plans . Since you are still stuck in dreamzone . You execute it in your dreams. Dream the outcomes. Since it's still a dream , the outcomes are fantastic. You buy a Mercedes , land up with equally ambitious partner. Everything goes fine , till your whatsapp buzzes and your friend enquiries about your task for the day.Reality strikes . Ghanta! We Indians , umm humans ... Dream of luxury. Not even comfort , luxury. The idea of work being done as soon as you think about it. So this October, I boarded the flight to be rich. Kept flying , till I realised I have nothing to make me rich. By the time I turn old enough to make enough money. I won't have time to enjoy the luxury.  So now , I want to turn rich. Richie rich. Earn like a million rupees per annum . Splurge t

Popping the zit of emotions

Hey all Blogging . Blogging . Because am neither studying nor working. So thought of doing thing ... that I effortlessly do... Blog!  I literally wake up someday and feel very lucky. I feel very fortunate. Spend some time eeeing around the mirror . Other days I am a mess. Some days I am Saint unaffected with my surroundings . We all are. When we go through any emotional confusion it truly affects us on a whole new level. We act completely different and in some cases become entirely new people. 1. Positivity Pauses In my case I turn into negative nancy! For a fraction of second it is like I deserve to be alone forever... the next second it is , Who cares ! I am amazing and I'll do it with my pace. 2. Self worth doubts I allow people to drag down my self-esteem. I forget how important and wonderful I truly am! • I am a catch 😎LOL.😇• 3. Stuck in a rut and rant I fall into a hole and cannot get out for the life .I just cannot seem to break this slump an

Stuck in the middle of the pack

Hey people !  Very few people speak of this journey .  They tell you the cheesy bits . Like the day they studied for 18hours straight. Or may be the day they felt like giving up everything. Honestly there is more to this journey ... the story with messy bits or the story with not so imperfect plans. The point of life where you pop out loud and fizzle out the next next second . What we see is the applaud on crowning with a Masters Degree. Nobody sees the sneer at the time of fall. Wait, may be they do... they do... but they chose to let it go. Once in your lifetime you are among the  people who are deemed as stuck in the “middle of the pack.”  I have come midway. There is no going back. But the path is muddy. My pace is slowing down. The hands are sometimes shaky and also the morale. I  cannot let the morale fibre lose its lustre. There are times I meet annoying people , have few bumpy rides on the way. With twinkle in the corneas and a wallop of goodness in the bones

When everything gets on your nerves

hey people, S ometimes fear of exams creeps up on me, making it through my doors of self-love with a carefully crafted key. Those days aren't that bad, I can work through those days. Other times, however, it appears with an army of paranoia, breaking that door away with a hammer, bit by bit. That's the only way I put my panic attacks into words. I am surrounded by people who say they love and care for me. I am surrounded by positivity and affection, by rainbows and unicorns, by biryani and smoothies and every happy thing that exists in this vast universe.  They are reminders that while the deadlines burden me, they don't at least sound like it's the dooms day! I thought that my anxiety may have been passed down to me, generation after generation. I tried to look at my family tree and try to trace the roots of this paranoia ...  But then I saw my face (my father's features and mother's smile), and I remember that anxiety is of least of my inheritance

A love letter to myself

 I know it’s a little awkward and probably slightly embarrassing, but why do you need a love letter , From yourself? 1.  You are worthy of this. 🤘 2. You are loved and you need to know why!👌 3. Nobody knows you better than me! 😎 4. You never got one from anybody else ! 😃😂 5.  We’re one hundred percent connected in a way no one could ever understand.  As far as the awkwardness is concerned ...Maria, you have a never ending list of embarrassing things you have done and this should not scare you. I love you because you are silly and know how to have fun! I love you because you know what makes you happy and you surround yourself with it. I left you floundering on your own, to rely on strength and encouragement from others (strangers) when it was I who should have held you up. When it was I who S hould have praised you and appreciated you for the wondrous person you are! For all the beauty and life you bring to this world. Life has

Is it okay to romanticize my lifestyle?

Hi people! Yesterday , the mood was minus 100 degrees cold . One must never underestimate the benefit of a power nap. You wake up as a slightly better oriented person.  Time , sleep and food solves most things , And the things these can't solve , you have to solve yourself. So , this morning ( Rainy and cosy) I wake up to amazing weather and alternating personality.  Only focus today was to reach the restroom as soon as possible. Weak bladders are a curse, and I’ll write an emotional piece about it one day. For once , I wanted to hurry up , get done with plans and the very next moment slow down and live in the moment. This reminds me of my toddler days. Since the day of my birth , I always wanted to hurry up on things that resulted in a clumsier adult version of mine. My mom divided equal amount of Maggi between us , sisters . I was the one , who would hurry up , gulp as much as I could whereas my sister would savour the noodles with gravy in right amount

Mood - Minus 100 degrees . Cold.

I wake up, scared. I don't want to leave the comfort of my bed. I don't sleep at all otherwise. It really takes a lot of willpower to study by yourself all these 18 subjects. Easier said than done. I try studying using various methods but fall flat on my face. But the attempts I makes way to  the next step. I was supposed to waltz through the study plan , not stumble. I don't understand the 12-18hrs per day strategy. The dreamy heads like me lose focus after 10 minutes straight.In 12 hrs I have dreamt over 12thousand times. I was supposed to be a tidal wave of energy , not the tired bag of bones and cellulite. Studying on the bed , studying on the reading table have cancelled each other. Nothing helps.  Discussions with friends end up with endless gossips. I am afraid, unready, hoping that no one saw behind the facade of calm. I know that the world expects you to have it all figured out, that there's a reason a quarter life crisis isn't a