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The Apology Reflex: From Defensive Walls to Genuine Connections BCT Series XXII

In the not-so-distant past, my instinctive reaction to criticism or conflict was to raise defensive walls. Apologizing was a sign of weakness, an admission that I might be wrong. Little did I realize that this defensive strategy was not only isolating me but also hindering authentic connections.

The transformation began when I started to view apologies not as surrender but as a means of fostering understanding. It's not about accepting blame for the sake of it; it's about acknowledging the impact of my words or actions on others. The shift from defense to apology wasn't instantaneous – it took conscious effort and self-reflection.

Professionally, the apology reflex has become a valuable tool in my toolkit. Admitting mistakes doesn't diminish my credibility; it enhances it. Clients and colleagues appreciate authenticity. They can sense when an apology is genuine, and this authenticity builds trust – a currency more valuable than any professional facade .

Sure, there were moments of discomfort in this journey. Apologizing without hesitation meant confronting my own ego, facing the fear of being perceived as flawed. But with each sincere apology, I felt a weight lifted, a freedom from the burdens of defensiveness.

Apologizing has become a reflex, not out of weakness, but out of strength. It's a recognition that we are all fallible, capable of unintentional hurt, and that's okay. The vulnerability inherent in apologies has become a bridge to deeper connections, a pathway to understanding, and a testament to personal and professional growth.

In conclusion, the apology reflex has transformed from a reluctant response to an intentional act of empathy. It's a personal journey that extends beyond cultural influences, shaping my interactions, building bridges, and allowing me to navigate the complexities of relationships with authenticity.

So far so much

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